The next morning, Michelle was up at barely daybreak, but I told her we wouldn’t be going into town until after 10. She pouted through breakfast, and when we set off into town on foot, she was easily 10 paces ahead of us the whole time.

Jessica was awake and in front of the inn when we arrived. We were all bundled up and Virgil led us up one of the easy hiking trails. It wasn’t the same trail that he and I had traveled on a few weeks earlier, but it did lead up to an overlook, and we got a good view of the Aurora River valley.

“If you come back in the spring,” Virgil was saying. “The Wildflowers are in bloom. That’s what LaCera is really known for.”

“Mom had a copy of some book about that.” Jessica was saying “Love in Lacera or something.”

“Love Letters to LaCera,” Michelle corrected. “It’s mama’s book.”

“You wrote it?”

“Well, I took the pictures, the book is mostly a collection of stories.”

“Wow,” she turned back from the view of the valley and looked at Virgil and I. “That’s right, that’s how you two met, right?”

I smiled.

“Yeah.. at the time I was a reporter for The Globe, I got sent here to do a story on the Wildflowers. My car broke down along the way, and Virgil came to my rescue. It was love at first sight, just about.”

“We got married a couple months later,” Virgil said softly. “And we’ve been together since.” 

Jessica smiled wanly.

Showing Jessica around town didn’t take long, and by lunch time, we headed into the diner.

“Hello Virgil, Ella, Michelle, oh my, who’s this lovely young lady?” Aubrey said as we filed in. Virgil gave Jessica a look and she nodded. 

“This is my daughter, Jessica,” Virgil said proudly.

“Oh my, yes. You’re the spitting image of your father.” Aubrey looked a little surprised, but covered it with pleasantries.

“Uh, thanks.” Jessica said. She sat down across from Virgil and I at the booth and Michelle sat with her.

“Are you okay?” I asked Jessica.

“It’s just weird to hear people call someone other than my …dad …my dad, but… I’m sorry, you are both embracing me and I’m being weird.”

“It’s fine,” Virgil said. “We’re all feeling our way through this. You’re not being weird.”

“If you’re not comfortable with-” I started to say.

“No, I am…” She sighed, looking at Michelle. I fished in my purse and pulled out a couple of dollars.

“Michelle, go ask Aubrey for some change, and then bring back some stickers from the machines by the door.”

“Can I get a rubber ball?”

“Yes, but I want a sticker.”

Michelle did as she was bid, and then Jessica sighed.

“Like I said to both of you last night, I had a rough relationship with my parents, and the two of you have been really kind and welcoming to me… I feel like I’m intruding on your perfect lives with my mess.”

“Oh honey,” Virgil said. “You’re not. I’m glad to know you, I want to be a part of your life, if you want me to be. I just feel so bad that I missed so much of it. Your mother and I… We weren’t a good fit, but I wanted to be a dad… more than anything. I wish she had told me.”

“She painted a very different picture of you. She said you were mean, a grump, and that you never talked,” Jessica said.

“Well, when I was married to your mother, I was. I resented her, and I didn’t treat her very kindly, especially at the end. I regret it. I regret that I never made things right. We were miserable, and I’ve never blamed her for leaving. I’m not trying to replace your dad-”

Jessica laughed humorlessly.

“Please, replace him.” 

My heart ached for her. I wanted to ask her more, but Michelle was back then. She carefully parceled out her spoils from the toy machines at the front of the diner, letting Jessica have her pick of the stickers she brought back. 

After lunch, we went back to the house, and Michelle demanded Jessica come with her to see the fort she and Riley had built.

“Make sure you call Mrs. Fitzgerald and ask if it’s okay to come by,” I said to Michelle once Jessica agreed. 

To Jessica I said:

“Call us if you want an out.” I winked. She smiled genuinely for the first time in a while.

When the house was quiet, Virgil sat on the couch next to me, arm around my shoulder.

“How ya’ doin’?” He asked me, leaning into the LaCera accent.

“Hanging in there, how are you?”

“Sad for Jessica.”

“Me, too.” I said. “I had almost forgotten that you used to be such a grump, though.” 

I thought back to the way he had been when we met. It had been brief, but he had been a bit of a grump those first few days. But on my second night in LaCera, he smiled at me, then showed me a spot where he liked to watch the stars come out. From there, he opened up pretty quickly. He told me about his first wife, how they had gotten married because she had gotten pregnant, but she lost the baby pretty late in the pregnancy… and they had stayed married for many miserable years before she finally left him for his best friend. 

He smiled wanly.

“It sounds like maybe her childhood was pretty miserable,” he said. “I’m afraid she might resent Michelle.”

“Maybe.” 

And now I was worried that I had sent the two of them off alone together. Jessica was still basically a stranger. I tried to relax. Mrs. Fitzgerald was there. She kept a good eye on the girls.

After about an hour, Jessica and Michelle returned. Michelle looked annoyed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Riley didn’t want to play with Jesscia,” Michelle said.

“I think she’s just a little jealous,” Jessica explained.

“Mama, may I go back over to Rileys?”

“Sure honey.” I said. “I think your daddy would like to spend some time with Jessica anyway.”

Once Michelle was gone, I turned to Jessica.

“What happened?”

“Riley seems a bit possessive of Michelle, she wanted to play barbies and stuff inside and Michelle wanted to show me their fort. It was like Riley didn’t want me to see it. I understand though, so I suggested Michelle bring me back and go play with Riley.”

I nodded.

“Well, I’ll let you and Virgil visit-”

“Oh no, I’d like to get to know you, too.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.” She took a seat in the armchair across from us. “Thank you all again, for letting me be a part of your family Christmas.” 

She had said that many times since she arrived. I wondered if she had ever had much in the way of happy Christmases.

“Of course,” Virgil said. “Ella and I hated to think of you all alone.”

“I’m used to it. Like I keep saying, I wasn’t close with my parents and I didn’t come home for Christmas the last two years anyway.”

“Oh,” I said softly, realizing my fears were true. The poor girl.

“My dad was… He drank,” she said. “Mom… probably had depression but she wouldn’t get treated for it. It was a lonely way to grow up, and once I was out on my own, I didn’t think I needed family.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said.

“So am I,” I said. I looked at Virgil. “I know you just met us, but you’re welcome to be a part of this family, if you want to.” He nodded.

“Thanks, I…” she trailed off. “That’s really kind of you.”

“There’s a Social in town on New Years eve, we were planning to go if you would like to come with us.”

“I’d like that, I think.”

“We mentioned earlier, but it bears repeating; we’re a bit used to it, but the town does like to gossip. There will probably be whispers and stares,” Virgil said quietly. “If that makes you uncomfortable-”

“Why are you used to it?”

“Well…” I blushed. “I got pregnant with Michelle pretty much immediately… and I moved here after only knowing Virgil a few days. The town chewed on that for a while.” I recounted. “Virgil was…” 

I turned to him, wondering if he would want to tell her. He nodded, and he picked up the story from there.

“I told you earlier that your mom and I were miserable… We moved here as a last chance effort to save our marriage. By the end, I wasn’t even living in the house. There’s a cabin behind my garage I’d bunk in. I don’t know if your mom ever told you, but we lost a baby when we were young.” he sighed again. “Neither of us were the same after that. Your mom was… sad. And I… I’d never been much of a talker, but after that, I just… anyway, I had kind of a reputation for being the town grump.” He squeezed my knee. “When Ella came to town… Well, people noticed a change in me.”

“Then I got involved in some town business when I was working on the book, made some enemies, and people gossiped about that.” I said. “So we’re quite used to people being in our business. It doesn’t phase us any more.”

Jessica smiled a little bit. 

“So you are the movers and shakers of LaCera?”

That struck me funny, I couldn’t contain my laughter. Virgil laughed too, and soon the three of us were no more good.

“I guess we are,” I said once the laughter had subsided. “Keeping Up With the Bakers.”

Virgil and Jessica talked for hours. He asked her everything he could think of, the things she liked in school, her favorite books, songs and animals… All the things he knew about Michelle. 

It both warmed my heart and made it ache, seeing how he hated what he had missed and how he was trying so hard to make up for lost time. I hoped that Jessica would see that. I hoped she knew that if Virgil had any idea she existed, he would have loved her just as much as he loved Michelle.

It was nearly dinner time by the time Michelle came back home. Virgil made dinner – shepherd’s pie, but with ground turkey instead of lamb. Michelle wouldn’t eat lamb. Jessica ate quietly, and I wondered what was on her mind. She must feel like she was caught in an emotional cyclone.

After dinner, Michelle wanted to finish decorating the Christmas tree. Virgil, Jessica and Michelle worked diligently, while I snapped pictures of them. After Michelle was satisfied with the tree, she wanted to play card games again. We did for a bit, and then I sent Michelle off to bed.

“You can read until 9,” I said. “Then lights out.”

“Yes Mama.”

Back in the living room, Virgil was dozing in his chair. I chuckled.

“Can I help you clean up?” Jessica asked.

“Sure,” I said. We went into the kitchen together.

“I know I said this before, but you’re a lot nicer than I expected you to be. I’m sorry I had this preconceived notion of you. I thought some pretty unkind thoughts about you and Virgil before I came out here.”

I nodded sadly. 

“I thought maybe you might be trouble, or resentful of Michelle…” I admitted. “So I get it.”

“I mean, I am a little jealous, but I’m happy to see what a good life you all have. I just wish I’d been able to be a part of it.”

“Well, I know it doesn’t make up for lost time, but you’re a part of it now.” I gave her a little smile. “Virgil is a good person.” I wanted to say more, but I didn’t know what she was ready to hear.

“He seems like he is, and you, too, you’ve done a great job with Michelle. Most kids her age are glued to their tablets and barely look up. I used to babysit a lot, and those kids are always nightmares.”

The last dish in the dishwasher, and the table cleared off, I sat at the kitchen island with her.

“Have you thought about what you want to do?” I asked her.

“I don’t know, I know eventually the money will run out and I’ll have to get a job, but I dunno what.” She sighed. I nodded. “Do you think Virgil would mind if I called him Dad?”

“You’d have to ask him, but no, I don’t think he would.” I said softly.

“I wish I could have grown up here,” she looked around the house. “I bet it would be a really nice place to grow up.”

“Probably,” I agreed. “It’s been a nice place to grow old.”

“You’re not that old.”

“I turn 50 in a few days.”

“Oh wow, you look a lot younger.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“I’m serious, I wouldn’t put you a day over 35. I thought he had robbed a cradle.” Her ears turned pink like Virgil’s did when he was embarrassed.

“No, I’m only about 9 years younger than Virgil.” I said. There was a long pause. I could tell she was turning something around in mind, so I waited for her to speak.

“My step dad knew I wasn’t his, I think. I look just like Vir-my dad… and they were friends.”

“Your mom told you?” I was surprised. “Yeah, I think they all used to be good friends.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I always wondered why they never had any more kids, but maybe that’s why,”

“It sounds like a lot of very complicated emotions.” I agreed.

I heard Virgil get up in the living room. He cursed as got out of the chair.

“He’ll be mad we let him fall asleep,” I snickered. “Come on.”

We went back into the living room, where Virgil was standing up stretching.

“Hello sleeping beauty,” I said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“You should have woken me.”

“Nah, we got some girl talk in,” Jessica giggled.

 After a little more conversation, Virgil drove Jessica back to the Inn. Once he was back home, we went up to bed. Michelle’s light was still on.

“Hey,” I tapped on the door. “Lights out!”

After a moment, the room went dark.

“I suppose there are worse things than staying up past bedtime to read.” I chuckled as we climbed into bed.

“I should ask Jessica what she was like as a teenager, maybe that’ll give me some clue about what we’re getting into.”

“You think?”

“Couldn’t hurt. “ he shrugged. He wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you… Zaira’s bringing someone to Christmas.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but get ready to have your mind blown. It’s Sheriff Mason.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No sir. They started canoodling when you were in the hospital.”

“Wow…”

“I know.” I said.

“Sheriff Mason… I never would have thought.”

“Me either,” I yawned.

“Good night Mrs Baker.”

“Good night, Mr. Baker.”

The next morning, Virgil, Jessica and Michelle went up into the woods for a walk. I wanted to give them some time alone together. I stayed home and had a quick email exchange with Melanie Jerad. I told her that I would be thrilled to start work on a short story about my marriage after the new year.

Any thoughts on a title? She queried a short time later. .

I thought about it for a few minutes. I almost wished “Love Letters to LaCera” was available… but the piece wasn’t about the town. It was about our marriage. How do you sum up 11 years in a few words? How do you encapsulate the deep, all consuming love I felt for my husband in less than a sentence. I thought back to what I had said to Virgil after his heart attack, that I loved him unconditionally. I loved him in every season of life. 

Love in Every Season?

I like that.

Zaira was set to arrive that afternoon, so I made sure the guest room was tidied, and I pulled out the bed on the couch in my office, just in case Jessica wanted to stay at the house to be there for Christmas morning.

CB patrolled the house while I was working, making sure I knew that she didn’t feel I could be trusted with such important tasks.

“Yes, yes, I know,” I told her as she watched me imperiously from the dresser as I put clean sheets on the guest bed. “You would do a much better job, if only you had thumbs.”

Zaira arrived not too much later, with Sheriff Mason in tow.

“Hey Sheriff,” I said.

“Call me Randy, please.” He nodded as they took off their boots in the mudroom. We sat in the living room, and Zaira and I chatted while the Sheriff… I mean, while Randy admired the Christmas tree.

As the sun started to sink behind the trees, Virgil, Jessica and Michelle returned to the house. We introduced Jessica to Zaira and Randy. Zaira gave me a look, but I just shrugged. I wasn’t sure how I was handling things… only that they needed to be handled.

Later, CB stretched out in Zaira’s lap, and Randy sat next to them, putting his arm around Zaira. I smiled at that. 

Zaira is in love, I thought. Who could have imagined?

The air turned cold and outside, I could see a light dusting of snow starting to fall again. Michelle ran outside in the moonlight to pay in the flakes as they danced down from the sky.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” I asked Jessica as she joined me at the kitchen window.

“Is there room?”

“I’m sure Michelle would love for you to stay in her room with her, but there’s a pullout sofa in my office.”

“I’d like that, thank you.” Jessica said. She turned away from the window and I could see she was crying.

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly.

“You’ll think I’m horrible.”

“I doubt that.”

“I really wish that… I wish that you and Virgil were my parents. I had such a lonely, sad childhood, and I see everything you’ve given Michelle and everything you want to give me.” She was crying in earnest now. “And then I feel guilty because my parents weren’t perfect, but they were my parents. They did their best, and I wasn’t always an easy kid.”

Instinctively, I put my arms around her.

“I’m sorry,” I soothed her. She stopped crying then and pulled herself together.

“No, I’m sorry,” she said fiercely. “I should go.” she said suddenly.

“No, you don’t have to-”

“I do.” she said. “I don’t belong here, with your perfect family.”

“Jessica, whoa, hey.” She started to storm out of the kitchen, but Virgil was coming in to wash his hands, and caught her by the shoulder.

“What’s going on here?” He looked back and forth between us.

“I just don’t belong here.” Jessica said. “It’s not Ella’s fault, I just…”

“You belong here if you want to,” Virgil said. “But it’s up to you. I know I have a lot to make up for-”

“That’s just it!” Jessica exploded. “You don’t have anything to make up for. You didn’t abandon me. Mom kept me from you! What kind of a person does that?” She sobbed. “I had a family I never knew about, because she didn’t want to tell me.”

“I’m sure she had her reasons-”

“Yeah, she did. She was mad at you and wanted to hurt you.” Jessica was shaking. 

I put my arms around her again, because she looked so small and vulnerable. She looked like Michelle. My maternal instincts were in overdrive. She was hurting and there was nothing I could do to help her, and that made me angry.

“My whole life, I looked in the mirror and saw a stranger, and I knew I must be adopted or something.” She whispered. “I thought I’d been abandoned. And then I asked mom, and she told me she didn’t want you to have any part of me.”

Virgil’s eyes were wet with tears, now too. I could only imagine what Zaira and Randy thought, hearing this from the living room. The door to the mudroom shut and Michelle came inside.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing baby girl, I’m just happy to have all my girls here for Christmas.” His voice was shaking. I looked up at him, alarmed. He was pale again.

“Virgil,” I said hoarsely.

“I’m fine,” he assured me. “I mean it. Baby girl, go see if Auntie Zaira needs anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Jessica said for the millionth time since she arrived in LaCera. “I’m a wreck and I’m wrecking Christmas.”

“You,” I said. “Are reacting to a very real and difficult situation. We’re all feeling our way through it, together.” I said. I was trying so hard to be kind and understanding, but the truth was, I wanted to dig up Virgil’s ex-wife and kick her bones into the Aurora River. I wanted to resurrect her and have a good ol’ fashioned cat fight. 

Michelle came back into the kitchen a few minutes later and looked at me expectantly.

“Mama, you didn’t forget?”

“What’s that dear?”

“We have to make cookies for Santa.”

“Right,” I said. “Let’s get started. Jessica, you’re welcome to help,” I said, pulling the flour, sugar and chocolate chips out of the pantry, while Michelle collected the cookie cutters. “It’s a Christmas Eve tradition.”

“Of course it is.” Jessica said. I pressed my lips together to suppress a laugh. “What?” she asked.

“I used to say that all the time when I first came here.” I admitted. “I used to be quite the cynic.”

“What changed?”

I looked at Virgil who was helping Michelle get things out of the fridge.

“Your dad,” I said softly. “He changed a lot of things for me.”

“I’m sorry about just now,” she repeated. Virgil brought the eggs over to the kitchen island, and Michelle trailed behind him with butter and cream cheese.

“I told you, we’ll get through this.” Virgil said. “I know it’ll take time to kinda even out.”

“What’s going on in here?” Zaira came into the kitchen then.

“We were so caught up in visiting, we almost forgot to make cookies for Santa.” I said. We spent the next several hours mixing, baking, and decorating cookies. The evening passed in a blur… Until I saw Virgil catch himself on the corner of the kitchen island.

“Are you okay?” I demanded in his ear.

“I’m fine, just tired.”

“Sit,” I commanded, pulling a stool up for him. “If you’re not fine, you need to tell me.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted, giving me a squeeze. “I mean it.”

“You’d better be,” I said, and I watched him like a hawk for the rest of the night. When the cookies were done, we piled a plate high for “Santa” and then sent Michelle off to bed. The adults sat around eating cookies and talking late into the night. 

Once I was sure Michelle was asleep, Zaira and I crept up to the attic and brought down the presents from “Santa” and from Virgil and I. We put them under the tree, and rejoined the others.

The snow was falling hard now, and I was glad I asked Jessica to stay. I didn’t want her walking to town in the snow and I didn’t want Virgil out driving in it.

“I’ve got some stuff you can borrow to sleep in,” I told her. “If you don’t want to sleep in your clothes.”

“Thanks,” she said. Everyone went up to bed after that. Virgil put his arms around me, holding me tight. 

“Merry Christmas, Ella.” He whispered.

“Merry Christmas Virgil.”

I listened to the sound of him breathing for a while, and when I was sure he was asleep, I went back downstairs and put his presents under the tree. Then, I sat for a while, looking at the Christmas lights. It was then that I heard someone coming down stairs.

“Hey,” Zaira whispered. “What are you doing up?”

“Mom stuff, what are you doing up?”

“It’s too quiet here, I can’t sleep,” she said. She sat with me on the couch. “I think I really like Randy.” She said. “Maybe even love him.”

“Oh yeah?” I was shocked.

“But I don’t want to tell him.”

“Why not?” I asked, but I suspected I knew. Randy was the first guy she had gone on more than a handful of dates with since she’d caught her ex cheating. I knew the feeling well.

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

“Yeah… It’s hard taking that first step again.” I remembered the way I had been afraid to let myself fall in love with Virgil. It had been hard to admit to myself, and hard to make myself let go.

“How did you do it?”

“I dunno,” I said. “It was like… it just clicked. It helped that he beat the shit out of that guy who came to my apartment, though.” I joked. I thought back to the enemies I made in town when I started investigating LaCera’s financial troubles. “But honestly, it was the way he made space for me in his life. I never had to wonder where I stood with him.”

Zaira nodded. I gave her a sad smile.

“Do you love him?”

“I think I do,” she said softly.

“Does he make you laugh?”

“Yes,” she chuckled. “And he doesn’t make me cry.”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” I started to say.

“Good, because I wouldn’t do it anyway.”

“But I think he’s a decent guy.” I said. “And if he makes you happy, maybe you should open yourself up to it… Who knows? Maybe in a couple of years you’ll have a house in the country and a mysterious step daughter.” I joked.

She hugged me.

I slipped back into bed. The room was still and quiet. For a moment, I panicked when I couldn’t hear Virgil breathing, but then he rolled over and sighed. I relaxed and laid down to sleep